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From the Weekly World News : With the Democratic convention hours away, Barack Obama has won a bitter fight with Republican Rival John McCain for the coveted endorsement of the space alien. Both candidates lobbied hard for the alien nod. No wonder: This politically astute extraterrestrial has accurately predicted the outcome of every presidential election since he backed Ronald Reagan in 1980.
 

This handsome lookin' son of a bitch managed to catch and land a record-breaking catfish on a Barbie fishing rod just 2-and-a-half feet long. David Hayes and his 3-year-old granddaughter Alyssa were angling in the pond behind his Wilkes County home when she asked him to hold her rod while she went to the bathroom. After 25 minutes, the pink plastic toy prevailed and Mr Hayes landed the 21 lbs,1oz catfish on the 6 lbs test line. At 32 inches long, it was 2 inches longer than the rod.

1. Michael Phelps, will be hosting the 34th season opener of Saturday Night Live on September 13th, with musical guest Lil Wayne.
2. Some gossip sites are wondering if Jessica Biel is pregnant. She was spotted this week in L.A., looking kinda round in the tummy.

3. The National Academy of Sciences has published findings that show there is increased brain activity when babies hear words with repetitive sounds.
4. Federal authorities have arrested a blogger suspected of streaming songs from Guns N' Roses' long-delayed unreleased album Chinese Democracy on his Web site.
5. Tonight is the final night of the Democratic National Convention. Barack Obama will be accepting his party's nomination and will be officially kicking off his campaign for President of the United States.
So many of you have called and e-mailed wanting to knwo how exactly we make our multi-fiber bread. Get yourself a white headband and get cookin'.

Our friend Brain was in California and thought we might all enjoy this picture of Mr. Klugman's star on the Walk of Fame. Jack Klugman was Quincy! That was a good show!

 

Wednesday-Spank the Joke Telling Monkey Puppet and Amanda Corey
Is that a picture of lovable grandmother or a forbidden transexual? Play Granny or Tranny and find out! CLICK HERE AND TAKE THE QUIZ

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DeNAe

Fort Madison, IA 27 Years Old

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    Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hooker?
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    Exactly how much money is in Amazing Larry's checking account? We've frozen his assets. Guess the actual amount and it's yours. Everyone who guesses instantly becomes an OFFICIAL lifelong member of the Amazing Larry Fan Club! You get the Amazing Larry T-Shirt, the certificate of "authenity". Rah-Gee? Rah-Jo!
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    There will be many people heading to the upcoming heavyweight bout between Andrei Arlovski and Josh Barnett to see a good fight, but just as many might show up to see Ozzy Osbourne perform.  MMAJunkie.com reports the Prince of Darkness will play at the event, dubbed Affliction: Day of Reckoning.  It takes place in Las Vegas on October 11th.

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    Salute Namibia's heroes with a drink on Namibia Day or Heroes' Day!
    Don’t tease the jaws of a Venus flytrap; each jaw can only close a few times before dying.
    It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County, Alabama after sundown on Wednesday.
    Manscape (n.) The removal of excess body hair via waxing, shaving, plucking.
    If on your journey you encounter a museum dedicated to a reptile, a country singer, or a seasonal vegetable, stop in.

    Scorpio

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    You'll finally get a taste of your own medicine this week, which is unfortunate, as you're the nation's leading supplier of horse laxatives.
    Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
    The Bumpin' Uglies

    "I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."

    - Totie Fields
    The group Love Boat Veterans for Truth is already trying to sink the political aspirations of Gavin MacLeod before they start.
    Milking the bull
    1980 - Hotel workers discover a 1,000-pound time bomb at Harveys Resort & Casino in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. Attached to the device is a ransom note, demanding that $3 million be delivered to a remote location by helicopter. After the delivery goes bad, bomb squad personnel are left to defuse the gadget by robot. The resulting blast blows a five-story hole in the structure and causes $12 million in damage.